remembering Mom

Mom's grave two weeks after the interment

After I arrived from a two-week mission trip in Palawan last Monday and had lunch with my mission team, I went home, put down my bags and headed straight to Pampanga. It was Nov. 1 and I can't miss the first time I'm gonna visit Mom on that special day of remembrance for the dead loved ones. 

I have been thinking about it for days and even shared it to my co-missionary. it just felt weird that after how many years of not going to the cemetery for the Nov. 1 event (we stopped visiting Tatang and Ima since 2006, I think and we weren't able to visit Lola Ipay last year), here I come, going there, alone, with a lot of people around, to visit my Mom. During the bus ride to Pampanga, I was talking to her through prayer, telling her of the weird feeling of visiting her on that day. I was even telling Mom to affirm me that it's just okay, that everything will be okay for me going there. 

I arrived at the cemetery after almost 3 hours of travelling. Tiring, yes. But the desire to pay respect to Mom and my grandparents is huge for me to go there. The cemetery looked a lot different compared on ordinary days. of course, a lot of people with candles on the ground, either chatting or playing cards, smoking or eating a lot. At first, I had a difficult time finding my Mom's grave. But the Lord (and her, i believe) led me to the middle of the cemetery - where a Holy Mass was on-going. I stopped, and got teary-eyed. I believed that the Lord, and my Mom, were telling me - "Khymee, it's okay. Everything's okay. Your Mom is with me. Don't be sad anymore." And I started walking and found my family at the site.

When Mom died, it was me who was considered the strongest that time because I accepted everything in grace and with grace. I was 101% affirmed by the Lord that He is in-charge of everything. But I can't help it, I still miss Mom. And there are days and nights that I still cry, not because I regret anything, but because of the desire to hear her or hug her or even cuddle with her. That's what we were before. And that, I can only do now in memory.

My mom is now happy and at peace. Sometimes, it still hurts but she never fails to make her presence felt in me through many ways. Just like Bishop Tagle said in his Homily - "Our beloved dead just died from their physical body but they're still alive in a  different way - through spirit". Let us all pray for our dearly beloved dead that their spirit be always at peace and be in god's loving embrace. Amen.

P.S.: Please say a prayer for Tia Noemi Villalobos, one of our host in Costa Rica who died last week. May she rest in peace and her family be consoled in this time of grief, Amen.