Spending my 2 Christmases with Marie

First Christmas away from home. Marie and I went to the annual Festival de la Luz in San Jose, Costa Rica with Tia Margarita and nephews and Luis. It was a parade of lights in different floats.But during the Christmas day itself, we were stuck in the most boring Christmas party by spending it in a barn while my hosts and their friends were drinking and weren't aware that we were there. So Marie and I decided to get out of the place and visit our other Tico families. (Dec 2007)

On Dec 2008, we weren't able to attend the Festival de la Luz but instead, we had the Fiesta de Tamales (Tamales party) for the whole CFC FFL family at Heredia, Costa Rica! And yes, there's no other food than Tamales! No Tamales, No Entry! We laos had the opportunity to spend it with our 2 missionary friends - KD and Bonn in Nicaragua - where we ate non-stop and sang like we were in our own houses!

And this year, Dec 2009, we're back in Pinas! We may not be mission partners anymore, but the friendship still remains. And hopefully, we'll attend more Christmas gatherings together! (@ the CFC FFL FTW Young Min's Christmas PArty 2 at Tito Danny and Tita Espie's house)

I missed those times that we have to look for families who will adopt us for Christmas. I missed our trips together to the internet shop just to greet our families in time for the Christmas in Pinas. I missed going to our own version of simbang gabi and Christmas Vigil Mass. I missed celebrating Christmas with you.

I may miss you this Christmas but thinking that you're just as happy as I am, celebrating it with our own families, makes me happy as well. This was our Christmas wish. This is one of God's greatest gift we have ever received. Thank you for those 2 Christmases we spent together. In hot or cold. With family or none. In a house or in the streets. Those 2 Christmases away from home were a little bit easier to endure because I was with you; you became my family; and I thank God for you.

Feliz Navidad a mi hermanita querida Anna Maria. Y este blog no es suficiente a decirte mi gratitud por los dos Navidades que nos celebrabamos. Que Dios te bendice tus deseos y anhelos de tu corazon por siempre y que este ano que viene darte mas sorpresas y grandes cosas en tu vida. Te quiero mucho mi hermana. Cuidate y bendiciones a tu familia! Siempre estas en mis oraciones.

All I want for Christmas is...

Last year, Marie, my mission partner, and I decided to spend our last Christmas in mission with our missionary friends, KD and Bonn in Nicaragua. We didn't want to spend it alone in our apartment, and since it's time to renew our visas, we grabbed the oportunity to spend the holidays there.

We were blessed to be adopted by a Filipino family whom Marie and I just met on that day they fetched us in the mall. It was really a treat for us to celebrate the holidays eating Pinoy delicacies and singing our hearts out during videoke time. At that moment, we were free from beans to eat and coffee to drink; we can eat whatever time of the day, speak tagalog without thinkng if they understand us or not, and just hang-out and relax without the pressure of people around us. I remembered the first day we stayed at that house, Tita Lydia prepared siopao and all of us ate like beggars who had siopao for the first time in their lives! (ohh.. that was sooo fun!)

On the 24th, we attended the Christmas vigil mass at a nearby parish. I was surprised to see that everyone were well-dressed! The women in skirts and the men in suit and ties! Imagine us going to that mass wearing something like in the picture.. we really felt out of place!haha At the end of the mass, we were asked to kiss the Baby Jesus. Even if the queue was long and our host were waiting outside, we still lined up to grab a moment with the birthday celebrant. And when it was my turn, I whispered a short prayer "Baby Jesus, my only Christmas wish is to celebrate my next Christmas with my family".
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Fast forward to present. Mom and I were having breakfast together and were talking about what to prepare for the Noche Buena. This was how our conversation went:

Mom: Anak, ano bang masarap na ihanda sa Noche Buena?
Me: EH di kung anong meron tayo from the groceries na na-receive niyo ni Dad. May ham na tayo. Pwede rin tayo mag tuna spaghetti, para maiba naman. Yun lagi kasi kinakain namin ni Marie sa Costa Rica.
Mom: Yun lang? nakakahiya naman ang onti ng handa natin.
Me: Kahit ano naman Mom ang ihanda natin, okay lang. Ang importante naman sama-sama tayo nagce-celebrate ng birthday ni Jesus. Teka Mom... may naalala ako!
Mom: Ano yun anak?
Me: Ang bait talaga ni Lord. Ang aga ng pamasko niya sa akin! Last Christmas, nag-wish ako kay Jesus na sana, ngayong pasko, makasama ko kayo. Awww.... I got the best gift! Spending Christmas with my family!

*Sabay hug kami ni Mom

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This Noche Buena was different from the usual salo-salo that we used to have since we shared it with the lower household of my parents and their families. It was my brother and I who cooked for the dinner - I prepared Tuna Spaghetti and Refrigerator Cake and Kirby cooked Spicy Buffalo Wings, Hamon and Shanghai. The kids loved the spaghetti and the Buffalo wings even if it was spicy. They also recited the lyrics in the videoke (they don't care if they're in tune or not); the moms were chatting and the dads were having their shot. Everyone enjoyed the moment together. At exactly 12 midnight, we said the family prayer before everyone went home. Mom and Dad were very happy to be with their household members. My brother and I were very satisfied that they like the food we cooked. We had videoke till 3 am and just had family bonding.

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This year was the first Christmas we spent without Lola Ipay. During our family prayer time with the whole Esteban Clan last Christmas, we offered a special prayer for her coz we really missed her. We even saved her space in the table and even calling her name around the house, as if she's just there. We tried making Lolo happy by singing songs for him and making him laugh with our jokes. He even joined the boys in their Christmas drinking session and poured his heart out. But even though Lola wasn't here to celebrate Christmas and other important events of our lives, what matters is that we, as one family, still continues to live our lives together, sticking with each other through thick and thin, and decide to be happy and enjoy the blessings that we receive from God.

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Prayer: Dear Lord, I praise and thank you for allowing me to spend your birthday with my family. You have proven once more that no prayer is left unheard and nothing is impossible with you. I pray that you also bless the families who continue to celebrate your birthday together, and bless those who are far from their families during this time, that they may also feel the warmth of your love even if they're far away home. May your birthday contnue to bring hope and unity to each and every family believing in you. In your most Holy Name, oh Jesus, through the intercessions of St. Joseph and Mother Mary, AMEN.

MELA-SON

Nang dahil sa episode kanina, kaya ako biglang napa-blog tungkol sa kanila.

Nakakautunaw sa kilig ang love story nila.
makulit kasi si melay. tahimik si Jason. pero parehas tinamaan ni kupido. ang maingay, natatameme kapag andiyan si sweet heart. ang tahimik, naging sweet at hinamak ang lahat makita at makausap lang ang si sweet heart.

"walang isang segundo na nagsawa ako sa iyo"

sino ba naman ang hindi kikiligin sa linyang ito?
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Jason looks more attractive because of the mixture of bad boy looks with a good heart.

habang pinapanood ko siya kanina, bigla ko na lang nasabi "kelan kaya darating ang Jason ko? yung kahit astigin ang dating eh malambot ang puso at sobrang sweet?"

tapos bigla ko na lang naalala ang mukha NIYA. malapit na kaya?
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MELASON. gives me reason to go home early. gives me reason to stay up late. gives me reason to be kilig once more.

and proved that i'm not a stone anymore.

try something different everyday.

i need variety, that's why.
- wake up early.
- eat breakfast
- greet the people i meet with a smile
- reply to text ASAP
- no boxing match with joanne (ahh.. i'm gonna miss that)
- reply to emails
- blog often
- less complaints about people around
- try to make a person feel loved everyday

ya. these will make me busy for at least ten days...
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i have been restless for so many nights. i've been asking God why is it so, for what purpose; is he revealing something to me? or someone thinking of me?

it's more difficult if you don't know what makes you one. you continue to find answers, think until you get migraine, and at the end of the day, you'll realize that you spent your whole day stressing yourself. and what's worse is when the feeling is like somthing big is going to happen and you don't know exactly what it is!
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lately, i feel like i'm boxed and struggling to free myself. yes, i know, you don't need to please everybody and to conform with the society. you are expected at least to follow some norm. but now, i  feel like i'm jailed to be someone that people are expected me to be.

i don't know what to do. but what i'm sure of is that i won't let anyone rob my happiness just because i tried pleasing them. there is only one person that I should please and that is the one who has loved me most, the one who ahs died for Me. my God and my Savior. in Him, there's nothing to fear. in Him there's always security and mercy. for He is gracious and loving. and in Him, i'll live my life.

remembering triki

remember those times that you'll pick me up at my host family's house, you'll open the passenger's door for me and let me sit beside you, coz you like it? then we'll drive around - fetch your mom (or bring her somewhere), go to the grocery, visit your cousins, watch movies, attend a family Christmas dinner and being introduced to your relatives, visit your dad, watch the Christmas lanterns light the whole village - then after, we'll eat somewhere (and my favorite is the cherry top-sundae of Pops!), talk non-stop and laugh. then you'll bring me home, promising me to bring me out again next time (which you always do).

how about those times that we talk hours on phone, sharing about our culture, God and other stuffs to get to know each other?

i miss those times when we hang out at your home, you preparing anything available in your fridge, watching tv all day-watching CSI with me (even if you're disgusted with dead bodies) and me trying to enjoy watching sports with you (even if it bores me to death) then going to mass after and dinner at your home again.

or those times that you try to make me laugh when i'm sad or homesick and gives encouraging words to make me feel better; or when you complement me with how i look, with my passion for life, my faith and love for God.

i also miss those times that you take care of me, treats me like a princess, dance together and you try to crack corny jokes when i'm feeling blue.

and those times that whatever time of the day, when i need you, you're there without question asked.

and also those unguarded moments when you call me your "filipina girlfriend", "your beautiful missionary" and "my princess".

i just realized now that i miss you and being with you. and i miss our bonding moments together.

you always told me that you're sincere with how you feel for me and that i should give you a chance to prove it to me. you always say that you already built a castle in your heart which your ice princess resides (and that's me). you were even amazed when i told you that God has revealed to me whom to love and how patient am I to wait on God and His plans for me.

now, I just realized that if i have given you a chance to enter my heart, then maybe, i'm still there with you and enjoying our time together. but i think we are destined to be like this, as good friends and as brother and sister. thank you for all that you have done for me, for making me closer to God and for treating me as the most beautiful missionary you have ever met. i thank God for saving us from temptations and untoward incidents. and whenever i remember your country, my mission time there, i will always remember you.

take care my dearest brother. may God bless you always. be happy!

missing Kuya Xavy

it has been 4 days since kuya xavy left for his mission trip in US together with kuya pat and kuya joseph. it feels different not seeing him nor receiving texts from him. home office = kuya xavy.

kaya last tuesday, when we had our weekly KFL coordination meeting, the four of us - joanne, kuh, angel and i, known as the Xavy's girls - got into agreement that before kuya xavy return from his mission trip, we should be a better KFL missionary. we want to prove to him that he can trust us on our own (kahit pasaway minsan) and that we're responsible. so, we have already started opening the meeting with a worship, we're also studying how to play the guitar and having group study/discussion about the book of Job.

kuya xavy leaving us helped us to bond with each other more.  make us more productive. and less of complaints and excuses. we want to be a better KFL missionary, so that when kuya xavs returns, he will be proud of us. at hindi lang kami crammer at petiks. we can do more for this ministry.

kuya xavy, we miss you so much. we miss the "good job, girls! good job!" na lagi mong sinasabi after an event. hope you're doing okay there. and continue to make God proud of your works there. don't worry about us here, we're doing better. =)

blogging again

i'm back to blogging again. i was inspired by a co-worker, and at the same time, have this desire to express my thoughts and sentiments online once more.
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blogging has been an outlet for me since 2004. this is my 10th blog site, and the 4th in this blog server. i am a frustrated writer and blogging has helped me express myself without restrictions.

as i start a new blog again, hope it'll serve it's purpose once more.