try something different everyday.

i need variety, that's why.
- wake up early.
- eat breakfast
- greet the people i meet with a smile
- reply to text ASAP
- no boxing match with joanne (ahh.. i'm gonna miss that)
- reply to emails
- blog often
- less complaints about people around
- try to make a person feel loved everyday

ya. these will make me busy for at least ten days...
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i have been restless for so many nights. i've been asking God why is it so, for what purpose; is he revealing something to me? or someone thinking of me?

it's more difficult if you don't know what makes you one. you continue to find answers, think until you get migraine, and at the end of the day, you'll realize that you spent your whole day stressing yourself. and what's worse is when the feeling is like somthing big is going to happen and you don't know exactly what it is!
*  *  *  *  *
lately, i feel like i'm boxed and struggling to free myself. yes, i know, you don't need to please everybody and to conform with the society. you are expected at least to follow some norm. but now, i  feel like i'm jailed to be someone that people are expected me to be.

i don't know what to do. but what i'm sure of is that i won't let anyone rob my happiness just because i tried pleasing them. there is only one person that I should please and that is the one who has loved me most, the one who ahs died for Me. my God and my Savior. in Him, there's nothing to fear. in Him there's always security and mercy. for He is gracious and loving. and in Him, i'll live my life.

remembering triki

remember those times that you'll pick me up at my host family's house, you'll open the passenger's door for me and let me sit beside you, coz you like it? then we'll drive around - fetch your mom (or bring her somewhere), go to the grocery, visit your cousins, watch movies, attend a family Christmas dinner and being introduced to your relatives, visit your dad, watch the Christmas lanterns light the whole village - then after, we'll eat somewhere (and my favorite is the cherry top-sundae of Pops!), talk non-stop and laugh. then you'll bring me home, promising me to bring me out again next time (which you always do).

how about those times that we talk hours on phone, sharing about our culture, God and other stuffs to get to know each other?

i miss those times when we hang out at your home, you preparing anything available in your fridge, watching tv all day-watching CSI with me (even if you're disgusted with dead bodies) and me trying to enjoy watching sports with you (even if it bores me to death) then going to mass after and dinner at your home again.

or those times that you try to make me laugh when i'm sad or homesick and gives encouraging words to make me feel better; or when you complement me with how i look, with my passion for life, my faith and love for God.

i also miss those times that you take care of me, treats me like a princess, dance together and you try to crack corny jokes when i'm feeling blue.

and those times that whatever time of the day, when i need you, you're there without question asked.

and also those unguarded moments when you call me your "filipina girlfriend", "your beautiful missionary" and "my princess".

i just realized now that i miss you and being with you. and i miss our bonding moments together.

you always told me that you're sincere with how you feel for me and that i should give you a chance to prove it to me. you always say that you already built a castle in your heart which your ice princess resides (and that's me). you were even amazed when i told you that God has revealed to me whom to love and how patient am I to wait on God and His plans for me.

now, I just realized that if i have given you a chance to enter my heart, then maybe, i'm still there with you and enjoying our time together. but i think we are destined to be like this, as good friends and as brother and sister. thank you for all that you have done for me, for making me closer to God and for treating me as the most beautiful missionary you have ever met. i thank God for saving us from temptations and untoward incidents. and whenever i remember your country, my mission time there, i will always remember you.

take care my dearest brother. may God bless you always. be happy!