when you're good friends, silence is not a problem

Tonight, I just felt being spontaneous and called my spontaneous best friend.
" Hey, busy ka?"
" Hindi naman. Anong plano."
" Libre mo kong dinner."
" Sige. What time tayo meet at saan?"

So we've decided about the time and place to meet. Of course, I was late because of THAT MRT ride (but it was fun though, thanks to KFL team!) We ate at Gateway Food Court (budgeted meals this time especially if payday is just a few days away). Surprisingly, we just ate in silence. No stories, jokes or rants of the day. We just enjoyed our food, a little comment about the taste, well, that's all. Then after, we decided to check on the ukay-ukay around. We didn't have time to share personal stories during that time, and we just enjoyed each other's company through shopping. After that, we headed home.

I sent a message to him, thanking him for the dinner. And amazingly, his reply was this: "Salamat, ganado akong mag-aral ngayon at magdasal, salamat sa Diyos at sa iyo. GB" (Thank you, I am now inspired to study and pray, thanks to god and to you. GB). I was struck. I reviewed the whole time we were together and I couldn't think of any moment we discussed any inspiring story that might give him any motivation. And then I realized, when you're with good friends, you don't have to talk all the time. Sometimes, just sitting around together doing nothing, enjoying the silence is much more needed and appreciated than the advice you can give.
*   *   *
And contrast to that event was the moment that happened before that.

Someone gave me a gift. A surprise gift to be exact.

I never expected a gift from that person. Probably because of the silence that I have with her for quite some time.

Both situations happened with silence, but gave a different feeling.

Silence that is comfortable and another with a feeling of dread.

Let silence be always comfortable.

And because of that, I need to talk to her. To end that dreadful silence.

ASAP.

good preparation = salvation

Last Sunday, I went home again to Pampanga to visit my Mom's grave and also get some documents that I need. Before going to my Lolo's house, I attended the mass at the nearby church (where I was baptized and Mom's last mass). I was praying so hard for the mass to be in Tagalog or English, and praise God it was in English!

Anyway, the homily was so good that I had to take down notes and share it here:
(Gospel: Luke 12: 32-48)

• Ang taong laging handa, kasama sa handaan sa kalangitan (The person who is always ready will join the feast in heaven)
• HANDAAN: it's a Filipino term for feast. When you invite people to your 'handaan' it means, you have prepared something for them - food, venue, yourself as a host, etc. So Handaan means "HANDA KA" (you're ready)
• The best preparation for death is a good life. 3 ways of preparing one's self:

            a) OFFENSE - use God's blessings in your life; no time for idleness

            b) DEFENSE - because we are in a spiritual war, our defense should always be up

                                  - increase your spiritual level by making yourself holy

                                  - stay away from SIN

                                  - changing one's self in mind, heart and soul

                                  - the more you allow SIN to enter your life, it will pull you down to the pit.

• Protect yourself. Fight for your faith.
• The prize of good preparation is SALVATION.

*   *   *

And I was affirmed once more that Mom is already saved because she had a good preparation before her death - she led a good life. 

Thank you Lord for this wonderful affirmation and message.

scriptwriter

" He was never mine. And I was never his.
  And it never existed an "us".
  And if ever there was an "us", then let's just leave it where we came from;
  Where it started and ended even before anything begun."
- to Ate Anna about him *whoever she was pertaining to as 'my man' that never existed*
*   *   *
If I'll be given an opportunity, I'd like to give scriptwriting a try.
Probably because I watch too much TV and movies that I always end up criticizing and wanting to change the plot.
A better scenario. Better lines. Better characters.
I remember joining the scriptwriters' committee when I was in high school.
I was the one who always give the most dramatic scenes, the most emotional lines.
As if I will be the one delivering them.
I don't know if it's being poetic or just being creative.
Imagining it to be my own scene.
*   *   *
But as I grow old, the desire slowly dies down.
Maybe because it is not put into good use.
And not inspired enough to do a good storyline.
But maybe, i'll try once more.
It was my dream to join the any competition, lest the Palanca Awards. (ambitious!)
I want to revive that passion once more.
But this time, writing stories that will inspire people -
about life. love. family. relationships. conviction. faith. God.
And this time, I don't desire to join the Palanca Awards anymore.
But my only desire is
to share these stories to give light, even a little light to others.
And use the talent that God has given me.

kinilig ako.

matagal na akong hindi kinikilig. siguro dahil nga sa sinanay ko ang sarili na wag kiligin para hindi mag-assume, naging manhid na rin in a way. nung last na kinilig ako, nasira ang friendship. napagalitan ng boss. at napadasal ng todo-todo. umiyak. nasaktan. yun ay dahil in-allow ko ang sarili na kiligin at dalhin ng aking emosyon. at NIYA.

pero kanina, sa hindi sinasadyang pagkakataon, kinilig ako. wala namang spectacular na nangyari. we just talked. chit-chat. small talks. (and i'm good with that). walang special sa pinag-usapan. pero weird kasi nag-uusap. hindi naman kami ganun. pero okay naman. di ako dun kinilig.

kinilig ako nung pagtingin ko sa kanya dahil tatawagin ko siya eh nakatingin siya. seryoso. at siguro nakita na niya na nakatingin ako kaya ngumiti. but i looked away.

ang arte ba? di lang siguro ako sanay. pero nice yung feeling. something new. di ko lang akalain na tatablan ako ng kilig sa mga panahon na ito. ngayon pa, na ini-immune ko ang sarili ko for more than a year na mula sa aking nakaraan.

nice try. sana maulit. *ang arte*

inx's: minsan, kelangan may kaartehan at walang ka-kwenta-kwenta naman ang i-blog. para masaya. haha

itxey and wi-fi

I started my own dream book in September 2008 when I was still in Costa Rica for mission. I remembered reading a Bo Sanchez' article on this that prompted me to do one.

 

the cover page

I wrote down all the impossible dreams I could think of and one of these is a Laptop. See specs below.

I am not a techie person so I only wrote down what I wanted for a Laptop: Dell, Pink, with webcam, wireless connection, DVD /RW and 2 GB Hard memory. During that time, We didn't have laptop and one of the Titos there lend us one, but it was sooo old and slow that you can still pee first while saving up your power point file. (imagine??)


When I got home last year, Mom bought my brother and I an HP Pavillion dv5 laptop. It was really nice, hi-tech and all. (okay, i'm really not a techie here).  An answered prayer coz I remembered that earlier in the mission, I  cut a picture of a laptop and pasted in my journal and it was the same laptop given to me after 2 years! I was very contented with it, with all its features and sleek design. The downside maybe, is that, it's really heavy for travelling.


Anyway, recently, I got problems with it though. I think because of travelling a lot (and thinking that it's sturdy enough coz it's metal), it's LCD became a little loosen. Sometimes you have to hold it or else, you can only get white screen. It was a little annoying at times most especially when you are in the middle of something.


I told my mom to buy a new one. It didn't materialized though coz you-know-what-happened. Fast forward, my brother needed the laptop almost everyday and we were having fights about ti coz I always bring it to the office and he didn't have anything to use at home. That's when I realized to buy my own laptop.


But where to get the money??? I tried asking my aunt, a  friend, and cousin if I could ride on their credit card. But they are over limit at this time. So I prayed, and prayed and prayed. And God heard my persistent plea: He gave me cash (pay when able!) through my dad! Amazing!!!


And so, I asked my dear techie frind, Dave, to buy with me in Gilmore, the tech hub of Manila. And now, the dream has finally come true! After 2 years, I finally have now Itxey, my Pink Dell Laptop! It really pays to pray and wait! :)

at Starbucks Gateway where we installed all the softwares

My dear techie friend Dave. Guess who is he texting with that smile!

"Setup is preparing your computer for first use." =)

This is Dave after 3 hours of re-installing Windows 7 for 3x! *sungit

Bonus from God: Itxey, my Pink Dell.

PS: Since I got it in a discounted price, I was able to buy a router as well. Now, we have wi-fi at home! Thank God!